Charlie has been on the pump for one year. What do you get a person with diabetes and their pump for their first year anniversary? Is it something made of wood? Paper? I can never remember.
Charlie never wanted to name his pump like so many others do. He turned down many of my recommendations such as Pumpy, Bluey, PumpBot, Slumpy the Pumpy, Mr. Beeps, Insulindiana Jones, Pumpio, Alan Pumpstein and Cheryl.
Maybe he's right not to name it. He doesn't name his sneakers or his ears. It's not a pet. Though he does keep it on a leash of sorts. He has been known to name his poop, but let's not go there, uh, girlfriend. Anyway, everyone names their poop.
Right?
It was a rocky first year for Charlie and his pump. A lot of people were even betting that they wouldn't make it one year. Pump came into the relationship with baggage - infusion sets that didn't always behave. The overall cynicism wasn't without merit. Pump was not always faithful and in turn, Charlie dropped pump in the toilet four , crap! Be right back.
Sorry, five times. Was it accidental? I'll let you be the judge. Could he have been contemplating MURDER? Perhaps. Neighbors all said he was a nice boy. A church-goer.
They just weren't good to each other. They were abusive. Charlie's kindergarten teacher recalls one especially big fight right in the middle of art class.
"It's none of my business," she said during a recent parent-teacher conference, "but if I was Charlie, I would get out of this relationship. I mean, I had heard about the pump not being loyal. Everyone talked about it. So, right in the middle of making paper pumpkins and spreading glitter, they have it out. Pump has the nerve to beep-beep-beep about messing around with someone named Basal (must be French) and how it's only "temporary." Can you believe this? Charlie deserves better."
Over the course of the year, many, many adjustments have been made and I'm pleased to report that those kids ironed out a lot of their differences. They might just make it.
Paper. First year is paper. I'm thinking an origami pterodactyl that unfolds into a gift certificate to a spa. What couple wouldn't like that?
