Well, it’s that time again. The new school year is right around the corner. Time to revise our 504 plan, give the kids their semi-annual shower and purchase more school supplies than we ever have before.
I’m sure you’ve seen this on the news. Due to budget cuts, many school districts around the country are asking that in addition to the usual pens, pencils, folders and notebooks, parents also contribute classroom items such as toilet paper, printer paper and anti-bacterial wipes. Fair enough, but I was surprised to find shark nets, sedatives and vodka on our list.
Hmm. Well … it is for kindergarten.
Point taken.
And with the school year fast approaching, Charlie has been busy working on his diabetes-related excuses and manipulations. Here are a few:
"I’m sorry Mrs. Johnson, the diabetes ate my homework."
"Can I please skip square-dancing at gym class today, Mr. Bergenheimer? My blood sugar hurts."
"Pardon me, Mrs. Van Wick. Chorus makes me low. I think I need to go back to my classroom and sit quietly playing video games."
"You guys go on without me to learn about the male reproduction system, Mrs. Johnson. I have to stretch my pancreas."
"Shouldn’t I be first in line to go to the assembly, Mrs. Johnson? You know, with my diabetes and all … ?"
"Oh, hi Vanessa. Good summer? Hey, was wondering if you could help me lift my arm. My darn diabetes is acting up again. Woops! How did that arm get around you like that? Bad arm!!! Bad!!!"
"Excuse me, Mr. Gleason, I don’t want to alarm you, but my pump is saying that if I continue taking this math test, I might spill ketones and/or insulin all over your floor. We could be looking at a serious glucose calibration and I may need a temporary 1V 3000 bolus infusion. Uh oh! Did you hear that beep? The A1c is at 7.8 and rising! We don’t have much time. Probably best if I go back to my classroom and sit quietly playing video games."
"Mr. substitute teacher! I think I need to go home. I’m bleeding from my fingers. Look!"
"Listen buddy. It’s the first day of school. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so I’ll cut you some slack. Unless you want to catch a nasty case of diabetes, I suggest you step away from my Nutter Butters!"
"Quick! Mrs. Johnson! I’m very low. Bring me Mrs. Turner’s vodka!!!"
The teacher's name for the reproduction class is Johnson? I see what you did there. HA!
As a retired teacher, I more than appreciate this look at the wonderful things kids can create. I loved my creative students even when their creativity ran in such a vein as this. And some tried it. Even as I looked through the nonsense and encouraged them to get on with reality, I laughed with them and enjoyed their bright wit and the terrific parents who encouraged their kids to be spontaneous.
Oh yeah, and I enjoyed this father's light look at life also. It's just that he did so remind me of so many students I have taught that all my thoughts ran to them. Great humor...
Ha! Nice catch, Shannon! Though I must admit, it wasn't my intention. Serendipity, I guess.
A-59 - Thank you and thank goodness for teachers!
funny