I noticed the bruise within the last day or two. Was it yesterday? It was smallish and below my infusion site. I thought at the time that it was weird to have developed a bruise at the tail end of the set. Could the bruise be related to the disaster I experienced today?

In the shower this morning I developed the chills, though I wasn't cold and didn't really feel sickly. I felt pretty normal, actually.

I don't know why it didn't occur to me sooner to test my sugar. Well, I guess I do know why. Extreme highs will make you foggy. I tested twice because I didn't believe my meter when it flashed 435 mg/dL at me.

"What? Are you low?" The Mr. asked when I gasped at the meter.

"No. I'm really high," I told him. I started thinking backward about what I ate last night, what time I ate last, the last time I tested my sugar yesterday. I tried to pull together all the variables to see if I could make something make sense.

This was a stubborn high, too. About 45 minutes after my initial test and bolus I tested again and had not budged. I corrected again and changed my site. Driving to work was tough. I was foggy and so concerned about my blood sugar that I nearly hit another car as I changed lanes. (Of course, I've done that with perfectly normal blood sugar, too!)

All day I was tired, felt queezy, felt gross. I tested about every 20 minutes (where's Dex when I need it, huh?!?) and struggled through my work. I barely talked to anyone and when I did it wasn't much.

I posted my frustration on Facebook and with several coworkers as Facebook friends, it naturally brought some concern and questions my way.

"Was it something you ate?" J asked.

"Sometimes you can pinpoint a high to something you ate, but this time I really don't know what caused it," I told her. "I could be getting sick, I could have an infection and not know it yet, my pump tubing could have been kinked all night. There's just no way to know."

For all the resistance I experienced today and for the length of time it took for my sugar to come down (fasting around 6:30 a.m., hanging out in the 300s until lunch, under 300 by mid-afternoon and 119 mg/dL at 4 p.m.) I suspect it was something I ate and/or fighting off some bug or something.

This is the dark side. The place where highs are nasty and stubborn and take over your whole day (and leave you texting blood sugar readings to your spouse). These are the days I hate diabetes the most... when so much of me is swallowed by something so dark.