Things have been busy lately. And they are about to get even busier. I've been working on the scrapbook from my Europe trip. I'm still applying for jobs and researching my move. Plus I've had the odds and ends of having a life, a family, and friends...like my brother buying his first house, my best friend leaving for 5 weeks, and helping my mom with a volunteer case.
So once again, it's one of those times that I've let diabetes slide into the backseat unnoticed. Instead of sitting down with my logbook and actually recalling the details, I'm guilt-ridden when I glance at it. I'm not even sure what kind of insulin to carb ratio I'm using. It was supposed to be 1:8 and maybe I've done that but I just can't seem to recall. My brain is just not in diabetes mode.
Today, I'm quickly realizing that I need to sit down with the logbooks and really think about this disease though. At 6am, I woke up to a lovely, sweaty 43. And a few moments ago, I dropped to 59. Lows are my nemesis. They follow me everywhere and I have no idea why I am so prone to them. But I do know that for me, it's not okay to have a 43 and a 59 in the same day. I know that something is wrong.
Especially when my activity level has decreased since I've been too busy to take my usual walk or bike ride. And when I'm not even putting effort into this disease (which generally means higher numbers rather than lows). So something is wrong and I must figure it out.
I feel very inconvenienced by these lows though. I don't want to take the time with my logbook and try to figure out what's going on with my blood sugars. I don't want to have to remember how much Lantus I took two nights ago or was that the night that I skipped it altogether. It's frustrating to think that I'm not even putting as much detail into this disease as I could be and yet I'm still annoyed.
I don't see how anyone can expect 24/7 management with this disease though. How can we be held responsible to log every carb, every unit of insulin, every blood sugar as well as exercise, stress, hormones, and life? How can I possibly keep up with that? When I've got the rest of my life speeding by me?
I can barely hold onto that part. The job hunt, the family life, the vacation plans, the scrapbook, the errands. Some days I just feel like it's spinning out of control. Then I sit with my to do list and remind myself that it all happens in time. I've even greatly stepped back from the job hunt. I've barely seen my friends lately. I'm just trying to get through the list before something even bigger happens...like that job or the move.
I don't see how people manage this disease, maintain a 6.3%, and never think twice about it all. I don't see how anyone has the time to do as much work as is necessary for diabetes. Maybe it's just me. Maybe my diabetes is just harder than everyone else. I do know that my PCOS plays into my diabetes management and leaves me much more frustrated than others. But I also know that I'm not the only one living with insulin resistance or other health issues that play into diabetes.
So how do we all do it? How do we live the diabetes life as well as the non-D life?
Hi Lindsey,
Would you mind explaining how PCOS affects your blood sugar control? I am actually thinking of going to my doctor to ask if I also suffer from this condition. What have you experienced?
many thanks
Most definitely! For me, PCOS makes my blood sugars swing a lot. Because PCOS causes/is caused by insulin resistance, it's a major factor in blood sugars for type 1 patients with PCOS. I see days or weeks of insulin resistance where insulin just doesn't work, then it all goes away and I see lots of lows. Or it's a daily thing where I just bounce around because my hormones aren't level enough to balance the insulin.
In other worlds, PCOS (for me, it's different for everyone else) caused severe acne, weight gain, cholesterol issues, irregular periods, male type hair growth and actual ovarian cysts that have ruptured. Others just have one or two symptoms or none of those and experience infertility then find out later it's PCOS. Good luck with your diagnosis! Keep me posted!
Lindsey,
I am now 58 having been diagnosed with t1 when I was 4. I've been through college (a couple of times), married, children (2 wonderful, now full-grown boys), worked construction, retail, own my own business, pastored, and now am on disability because I can't keep my D under control well enough to hold down a job. I now suffer hypoglycemic unawareness so lows get me without any warning. I believe the main reason I am now in this position is because I let my D go when I was young, in college, finding work, developing family and life. I find taking care of myself and my D is nearly a full-time job and my latest A1C was 5.8. I do experience a lot of lows. I test approximately every 2 hours--8 times a day. Since being on a pump the last 10 years things have been better, but still not good. I'm saying all this because I would hate for your later years to be similar to mine. You really need to schedule your life (I know, I know) including exercise, meals, testing, all the things you know you should be doing. IT IS NOT EASY, but you, your life will benefit greatly and you need to keep that in mind. You can really live the diabetes life and the non-D life. I have done it. Just didn't last long enough.
I realize other health issues interfere, but you need to work it out. (I had quintuple bypass in 2006.) Please, don't give up, don't get depressed (Yeah, right!), and just do the best you can. You CAN DO IT!
Side note: I really wish you'd change your dLife picture. We need to see your face. I'm sure you're beautiful. And, I do really hope this gets you to think about your D life.