There's an old saying about leading a horse to water but not being able to make him drink. I've been trying to make a certain horse in my life drink water for some time now.
I recognized the signs a long time ago. I knew she needed to see a mental health professional. I begged, I pleaded, I guilted. I tried to reason with her. But it's hard to do that long-distance. And over e-mail.
I consider myself a good listener. Someone who can listen to someone non-judgementally and offer advice. But there comes a point when experience isn't good enough.
It's hard to watch other people suffer. And this person was suffering. There were so many issues that need to be addressed and she always said she was too busy. It's even harder to watch someone suffer when I have experienced the benefits and relief that come from professional mental health help.
I wish it was easier to explain to people that getting help for their mental issues isn't somehow showing weakness and isn't admitting defeat. In fact, I think it's the first step toward winning. If a person is so bogged down with whatever it is that life is handing them that they can't handle then how can they be successful in any part of their lives? And I can't tell you how many times I've said that "talking to a stranger" is actually better than talking to someone you know because that "stranger" won't judge.
It took me finally seeing a psychiatrist and discussing my mental health in detail and doubling my prescription for antidepressants to realize how bad I had been for so long. To realize how unsuccessful I was being in so many areas of my life.
So when I see the signs in someone else, and when they see the signs, I push hard with a blunt, no-holds-barred attitude. The only problem is that I can lead that horse, but I can't make her drink.
Finally today the horse in my life took the first step and made an appointment with a licensed professional counselor. I am so proud of her and I know that this will make a gigantic difference in her life.
To continue with the analogy of leading a proverbial horse to water but not being able to make it drink, I really think the horse needs to percieve itself as thirsty before it will drink, and that internally to the horse's perception the thirst itself must take priority over all other perceptions and beliefs about the world and the self before the horse will drink.
Some horses are ashamed to drink, while others drink and gallop totally unbridled. Some horses are in denial that they are thirsty. Some horses are embarassed to drink in front of anyone and would rather do it privately. Some horses would rather cover up or cloak their thirst with something other than water. Some horses don't believe that the water will quench their thirst at all. Some are afraid of the water. Some are mortified that someone else may suggest that they are thirsty to begin with. And some horses would rather just know that the water is there and then take their own course of action on their own time.
But the fact still remains that all horses need water to survive, and all horses eventually make their way to the water. It's only a matter of time, and how much water the horse needs.
Hmmm... I had better bring my analogy to a close before I start making it sound like diabetes insipidus instead of diabetes mellitus. :-)