It's my Spring Break. Nine days of no school. The last one of my college career.

Usually this time of year, my mom and I are on a Mexican beach sipping strawberry daiquiris and dreaming of a permanent vacation from everything. That time spent away is necessary for both of us. She needs the break from work to rejuvenate. And I need the break from all this life to avoid a major breakdown.

This year, we're spending our vacation time and effort on the European graduation trip though. So my Spring Break is spent here at home. Don't get me wrong. I'm extremely grateful to both my parents for the Europe trip. I'm ecstatic that I'm spending 10 days touring Rome and seeing the islands of the Mediterranean.

But I'm also feeling extremely stressed this Spring Break. For months, I've been making plans and not making plans with friends...trying to fulfill my own needs along with satisfying everyone else. I feel caught right now.

I've had three doctor's appointments this week already. The dermatologist, the eye doctor, and the endo. I have another eye appointment at the end of the week because I had to switch contact brands so I need a follow up to get my prescription. Four appointments in one week...a vacation week. It's exhausting. I feel overwhelmed.

I also feel like I just want someone to take over my life right now. I want someone to come in and make the decisions, tell me where to go and what to do. I want to turn the reins over to someone else, to feel like I'm not holding so much in my own two hands. To just not feel so alone.

That's the problem with dealing with all these different aspects of my life. I've got school, a full time job in and of itself. I've got a job...although I love doing it, it's still a responsibility. I've got the different roles I fill: daughter, sister, cousin, friend, and lover. And then I've got health issues. I've got the daily battles of diabetes, the issues with PCOS, and just general health concerns (like changing contacts).

It leaves me burned out. It makes me feel like I'm constantly obsessing over control. I had to decide if I wanted to stay on Accutane, if I wanted to move insulin around, if I wanted to change contacts, if I wanted to get my glasses updated, all these stupid things. All these things that I'm just sick of dealing with today.

So I just wish that I could have someone come in and sweep me up. I wish that someone would decide and make a meal for me...just so I don't have to pick anything for once. I just wish that someone would say I want to do this and be straight forward.

Today was just a hard day...apparently. And tomorrow, I'll be back on my feet and feeling like I can manage my own life for a little while longer. But gee, wouldn't it be nice for all of us if we could just give up SOMETHING for a little while? Even if it is as small as deciding what to eat for dinner.