After an emotional breakdown Monday night and multiple vent emails to close friends, I'm feeling more prepared to deal with everything that's going on with my health right now. I've done some research, reviewed information that I already knew, and taken some alone time. And I've come up with a plan:

My first step is to get my focus back. I need to make it to class, no matter what. Excuses are unacceptable. My first round of exams starts next week, which I'm not prepared for at all. So this week, I need to get back on track with my schoolwork. Reading, writing, and making it to class.

My next step is to try something to help my mood and energy levels. I'm going to try SAMe this week, hopefully my moods will at least return closer to "normal" than they currently are. I'm not sure what I can do about my energy levels at the moment. I strongly believe the Accutane is making my fatigue worse than it would be otherwise. I mainly need to sleep as much as possible and keep a better schedule.

I'm also trying to keep my blood sugars more stable. The past few days have shown improvement with fewer highs and no lows. My insulin levels are back through the roof, but I'm trying not to concentrate on that as much. I'm planning on sending my doctor my request for Metformin in the next week so I can possibly start it by March 1st. If it could even slightly lower my insulin needs, I think I might see better results with my other symptoms (mood swings, acne, and weight gain mostly).

I also need to force myself to get back into running. I took too much time off after my surgery and now my motivation is low because of the fatigue. But the number on the scale and my inability to eat as much as I'd like to is pushing me closer and closer to the breaking point. If I can just run twice a week, I should see some improvement. I'd also like to add in two yoga sessions (including my one yoga class) a week.

There are other things in my plan that I really need to focus on. For instance, my apartment desperately needs to be cleaned and organized. The chaos that's accumulated from the past few weeks of fatigue and depression is getting in the way of my ability to focus. I'm also putting off the job search and planning on taking some time off after graduation (an encouragement from my father). That takes a lot of stress off of my plate in the time and energy I'd be putting into applying for jobs. I'm also trying to focus on the positive aspects of everything.

I'm a month and a half away from being off of Accutane, which will be a huge factor in feeling better. My mom and I are planning a European cruise for a graduation celebration. And I'm 91 days away from being completely done with school.

I'm still tired and still upset, but I'm also hopeful. I know that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to and I plan to do just that. And hopefully when it's all said and done, I'll come out with a few less stressors in my life.