When you're writing about your diabetes life for a living, it can be hard to remember that there is a life outside of this disease. When you're daily racking your brain for blog topics, diabetes fundraising ideas, and how to market a diabetes network to the world, it's tough to keep track of yourself. But I've desperately been wanting to know myself more, better, wholly.

I've done just that in the past three years. Being out on my "own" here at college has made it much easier to find that true person that lies beneath all the health conditions. Sometimes I still get lost in the mix...like am I truly against large groups of new people or was my self-esteem just beaten down by the PCOS? But mostly, I've learned myself in more detail than I ever knew before.

I'm determined to continue on that path. These next five months should do just that. And the following year or years after will certainly tell me who I am. But exactly who am I today? Without diabetes?

There's the physical me. I'm tall. I'm a brunette with curly hair. I have bright blue eyes that go even deeper when I cry. I have broad shoulders, long arms, and a small waist. I have legs that show the years of cheerleading, softball and volleyball...from permanent bruises to the feel of the muscle beneath my skin. I'm dotted with freckles and moles that tell of a long line of pale, European ancestors.

There's the mental me. I'm intelligent. I've never failed a class. I excelled at English, but bombed in math and most sciences. I'd rather think with a mix of logic and emotion. I let my intution guide most decisions, although I'm very fond of weighing out the pros and cons. I make lists, schedules, and charts to organize my life. I could read books all day long.

And the social me. I've been hurt pretty badly in the past, which left emotional scars that haven't yet healed. It means that I'm slow to trust, hesitant with my emotions, and tend to stay in my own cocoon. It's a part of me that I both love and hate. I'm more of a movies and dinner girl than a club and cocktails girl. I don't think that will ever change. And frankly, I don't want it to. I'm not in need of daily interaction. I love to spend a little time to myself, just regrouping.

There's the emotional me. Like I said, those emotional scars haven't healed yet. My mistrust of people sometimes means a lot of doubt and a lot of contemplation about other's feelings towards me. I tend to bottle things up inside instead of telling you what's on my mind. I'd rather write you a letter than say the words out loud. My thoughts are always clearer that way. When I'm angry, I lash out. When I'm resentful, I hold out. But when I'm happy, I give my all. I experience every emotion to the height of its peak: loving whole-heartedly and passionately.

There are the tiny things about me that round me out. I absolutely love to travel. I like nice things, but I tend to hold onto my money more than let it go. I like to splurge on myself on occasion. I'm a dedicated worker, not a morning person, and loyal to death with my friends. I have an endless list of favorite books and movies, but gravitate towards action or thrillers. I'm cautious in my food choices, yet adventurous in my experiences. And I really like the color blue, New York cheesecake, and Tiffany's diamonds.

Despite all these aspects that create me and all the learning that I've done lately, it's still difficult for me to separate each of those things from diabetes and from my health. The calculated risk taker in me, the dedication to work, even the build of my body...I often wonder how much is influenced by my health. Sometimes that makes me angry...to think that I cannot just be ME. And sometimes I remember that it all happens for a reason and that my health is definitely part of that ME. So accepting who I am with whole-hearted passion is the only option to take. I plan to continue to do just that in these coming months and years.