I've blogged before about being an advocate for taking diabetes "breaks." Sometimes this disease can get overwhelming, annoying, and just plain upsetting. So every once and awhile, I take a little break. I don't test as often. I try not to get upset when I run high. And I stop worrying about the food I'm putting in my mouth. I even stop worrying about getting my usual exercise in.

The last week has been exactly that. And my averages are definitely running high. So I figure today is a good day to start getting myself prepared for getting back on track. One last day of diabetes irresponsibility. It's just one of those days where I'm tired of sitting around and doing nothing. I'm ready to start fresh.

So I've been cleaning my apartment. Vacuuming, doing laundry, and picking up all the loose ends from the summer. I try to stay organized, because the more organized I can be in my usual life, the more control I feel I have in my diabetes life. When things are in order, my health is easier to manage. Today was a day to get back on track with the rest of my life in order to get back on track with my health.

I haven't been feeling very good in the past two weeks, so that's the main push to get back on the blood sugar wagon. There's no use letting every part of my health go into the ditch; it'll just be ten times harder to pull myself out if I let that happen. But I'm still not ready to get everything else in order. Sure, my apartment is slowly getting clean today.

But my diabetes and my other health conditions aren't getting any cleaner/less cluttered. I feel the need to make a list. A tab of things that need to be done in order to feel more on track with all this. The problem is that tomorrow I head "home" for two weeks to earn some much needed money. Meaning that I need to pack everything that might help in the next two weeks tonight. Or put it off until I come back.

Sadly, only two days before I come back, I head to school. So those two days will be spent doing more laundry, buying books, and sleeping to prepare for another five month stint of classes. It definitely won't be prime time to get my health in order.

What exactly needs to be done? I need to order prescriptions desperately (Lantus, strips, and several supplements). I need to log my blood sugars and tally the averages again. I need to send in tons of prescription reimbursements for my bio-identical treatment. I also need to get the hospital bills settled for 2008's cyst fiasco.

Once all that is in order, I can take a big sigh of relief and mark a bunch off the to do list. But when will I have time to do this while working full time and making several doctor's appointments in the next two weeks? And how will I make sure that I have everything in order tonight?

I know that working full time isn't easy, I've done it in several stints throughout the years. But I can't help but feel that going to college makes managing diabetes 100x harder. I can't help but feel that graduating will be such a relief in my health world. It's one of my main reasons for wanting to graduate so badly (besides being tired of living on no money whatsoever).

I can picture having a nice office (or at least a stable place for my desk) that I can organize all my medical bills and issues. I picture leading a stable schedule (not one that changes every few months) that leads to better eating, better exercise, and better health in general. Mostly, I imagine not traveling back and forth between so many places so often. All that is over 18 months away (9 for graduation then about a year for a house). But I'm so hopeful that graduating will lead to better blood sugars and better stress levels.

Until then, I just want to make it through. Get these reimbursements shipped out, make sure I get Lantus ordered, and stay on top of my supplements. Managing stress isn't easy, but it's completely necessary in this chronic lifestyle.