My vacation was extremely nice. My mom and I spent several days with her family (who I haven't seen in several years), then trekked to New York City (my favorite place in the entire world). And mostly, my diabetes played nice. Nothing too out of the ordinary and no insane highs. Just plenty of hypo unawareness that left me annoyed, but thankful that I'm vigilant.

Now that I'm getting back into the grind of "normalcy," I'm kind of in a funk. There's a lot looming in my mind at the moment about my life, my health, and my future. And those things are weighing heavily into my diabetes world...causing me to forget insulin or blood sugar checks or to eat on a schedule.

I'm really hoping the foggy feeling passes by tomorrow and I can find some motivation to get back on track with my life. But tonight, I just want to sit and think. I want to read a good book and forget that my life is all up in the air at the moment. I want to press the pause button, or maybe the fast forward button, to just make life go a little differently.

Not only is my second summer session coming to a close (so I'm prepping for a final and stressing about my grade), but the rest of my life is teetering off balance at the moment. I'm trying to decide what classes to take over the next semester, if I want to move back home six months early or just wait it out, and where I want to be after graduation next May.

On top of that, my health is weighing heavily in the back of my mind. I recently cut down all my bio-identical hormones and supplements. So now I'm left wondering if I should go completely off the hormones (except for the thyroid) or continue on a low dose? And what are the consequences if I do one or the other?

Vacations always leave me a little off kilter for a few days. After all, you go from being totally disconnected to normal life to suddenly thrust back into classes, bill paying, and stress. It's never fun to "detox" from a vacation, but New York makes it especially bad for me. Because it leaves me wistful. I wish I was still there; I wish I was permanently there. So my mind is in a million other places (imagining the future of possibly living in Manhattan, moving through the next 9 months of college, and staying put to make the most of Texas life).

Luckily, this funk and this stress isn't playing too heavily on my blood sugars. But it is leaving me forgetful, discouraged, and impatient. All of which do not make a good diabetes mix when you have blood sugars to log, Lantus to take, and a limited supply of groceries. I just need my diabetes to hold off for another day or two while I get back into this life and leave behind the longing for another, separate life.

Until then, I just have to make it through as best I can...trying to remember Lantus and boluses, eating on schedule, getting back into the workout routine, and sitting down to log the blood sugars and averages of the last week. Another night of wishful thinking won't kill me though...so I'm putting it off a little longer, avoiding my diabetes directly, and taking a few "mental health" days to unwind.