Saturday night, I raised my evening Lantus dose to 16 units and kept my morning dosage at 13 units. I also moved the evening dose up by about three hours, hoping to stop those highs that sent me into sleep at 218 and 241. I also took the plunge and decided to do a trial run of boluses with the pump instead of pen or syringe. And I'm still as perplexed, but this time for the opposite reason.
Within a few hours of bolusing with the pump, I saw a 55 that bounced up to 114, 131, and back down to 93. Several snacks throughout the night left me at a morning number of 130. For most of Sunday, I stayed under 150 with a brief spike after working out. After dinner on Sunday night, I dropped to 84 then 69. And after about an hour, I was 146. But at 4am, I woke to an unexpected 47. I also lowered my evening Lantus to 15 units since I'd seen a rise in lows after the 16 units.
As much as I dislike highs, I also dislike the lows...especially late at night or while I'm sleeping. So I'm desperate to get these under control within the next few days, but I'm just not sure which area to fix. Since most of the lows are after meals, I'm wondering if my carb ratio is off (since I'm now getting more accuracy with the pump) or if I'm overjudging the carbs for fear of the highs.
I'm also wondering if I need to lower the Lantus back down to 14 units in the evening. Since I'm going to bed lower, I'm worried that the Lantus is causing a drop (like the 47 last night) that I wasn't exactly aware of before because of all the highs. I'm leaving it at 15 units for another night to see what it does, but if I wake up with another low I'm definitely moving it back down.
As for bolusing with the pump, it's obviously giving me lower numbers. But what do I do with these lower numbers? Is it because of the accuracy of the pump? Or because I'm more apt to bolus earlier before the meal? Or do I get better absorption through the pump? Or maybe it's just the higher Lantus dose giving me lower readings altogether?
Sometimes I just wish diabetes could sit and have a conversation with me. If we could just chat about what causes the highs and lows, it'd be so much easier! Why can't I just know what to do? Without thinking? Without worrying? Without trial and error?
I wonder what my diabetes would say about all this...stop trying so hard? stressing just makes it worse? that I'm insane?
Whatever it would say, I'd gladly accept the criticism. Because right now, I'm stuck between leaving everything the same and changing it all back again. Tomorrow, the insulin in my pump will run out and I'll be wondering if I should use it again for boluses or go back to the syringe. And hopefully, I won't also be wondering if I need to raise or lower the Lantus again.
I could probably handle this with ease if there wasn't so much going on with my life at the moment. I'm currently packing to head out on vacation on Wednesday, writing a paper, and trying to find someone to sit my cat while I'm gone. Although I'm not necessarily stressed, this whole diabetes confusion is adding to that rising level.
Why does diabetes have the worst timing in the history of the world? If its not blood sugar upsets right before an important vacation, its lows during final exams or dates or highs when I'm heading to my favorite restaurant or hungry for any kind of food. If I could have that sit-down with diabetes, I'd definitely tell it to just go AWOL for a few days out of the year to give me a break...on vacations, on date nights, on final exams.
Sadly, I'm stuck here on my own (with you guys marvelous input)...and will be for quite some time. Just hopefully I don't have major lows on my trip and the highs stay away until I get back. I'm just looking for a happy medium, Mr. Diabetes, please.
