My last post about depression had me talking a lot. I mean, I cut like 200 words out of that post to get it to a readable length and here I am still having things to say about depression.

So when I left off I was an unemployed mother of two who was going through some seriously taxing financial and emotional times. On a rare day when The Mr. and I had time alone (I actually think we had gone on a date!) I admitted to him and to myself that I was depressed. I started taking Prozac and feeling better. I felt better that it was a problem that was recognized and that I was finally able to take care of it.

No. 2 was about two and a half when I finally found a job (and just five blocks from home!); I continued on the Prozac knowing that it wasn't just being unemployed that was making me feel so miserable.

And then in February 2005 I was diagnosed with diabetes and two months later was pregnant with No. 3. I'm a news and information junkie and not long after I found out I was pregnant I heard a news story about pregnant moms taking antidepressants having babies with complications. Though right now I can't remember what those possible complications were. I brought it up to my OB and after some discussion between us (and her with her husband who was my perinatologist) we all decided that I should try to wean myself off the Prozac.

I probably knew in the back of my mind that it was going to be a disaster, but I was willing to try for the sake of the baby. As predicted, I was miserable. I remember watching Beauty and the Beast and crying uncontrollably -- at a happy part!!

I consulted with my OB and we both decided that the potential complications at birth were not as important as my mental health throughout my pregnancy. She had also done some research and made an educated decision that I and the baby would be OK if I continued on the Prozac.

Even though I was already taking Prozac, I still feared that I would get more depressed after No. 3 was born. Fortunately, that didn't happn. And frankly, I was a much better mom to her in the beginning than I was in the beginning with No. 1 and No. 2. And I hated myself for that. Even The Mr. commented outloud on how much happier I was.

So here I am finding myself still having things to say about depression and needing to be at the end of a readable-length post. So, next up I'll tell you what's being going on since No. 3 was born and where I think I should go next.