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Since last night, my numbers have really confused me. The last week has been rough with highs by the dozens, insulin resistance, and just all around diabetes havoc. But last night, I thought I saw the clearing in the woods with my first low in 7 days.

Yet I still woke up at 257 after a normal dinner, low carb treatment (only a cup of juice and nothing else), and increased Lantus. So I added an extra unit onto the bolus for the high and a little extra for my breakfast. And ended up at 108 in the afternoon.

I had a normal dinner (fairly low carb for me) and enjoyed a normal evening, yet I was shocked by a blood sugar check before my evening jog. 261. So I'm not sure which is the "fluke" -- the 108 and the low last night or the high this morning and the high this evening. Although the jog is slowly bringing me down, first to 198 then to 170 after 45 minutes...I'm still frustrated.

I'll continue to do a little extra Lantus until I start seeing more "normal" numbers. And I'll still bolus a tad extra for highs and food. Hopefully I can see a true break within the next few days.

If not, I have no idea what I'll do. Maybe I'll have to go back on the pump. Maybe I just have to live with averages in the 200s. Or maybe it'll all come to a head and I'll figure out what's going on with these numbers.

At least these types of highs (the insulin resistant kind) don't cause all the nasty high side effects like some highs I've experienced. I haven't had any nausea or thirst or the fuzzy feeling that takes over your body with the presence of a ketone-laden high. I'm hoping that means something in the long run (no ketones, less complications?).

The biggest downsides are that highs just interfere with life in general. They cause an increase in insulin (which I just HATE to do). They put doubt in my mind with normal activities (driving while high, exercising while high). And they limit my food intake (which I guess isn't all that terrible of a thing since I'm positive I'm still getting enough calories per day).

I guess the most disappointing part of all these highs is that it comes at a time where I thought I was doing better. My averages were coming down and I was seeing more stable numbers. Then the highs are thrown into the middle of all that, which completely destroys the work I've done in the past months.

I just wish that diabetes was more stable. I wish that I could explain why I have weeks of highs at a time (for sure at least, instead of speculation). I wish that diabetes didn't interfere so much with my physical, mental, and emotional health.