chennette
The following are real headlines from real news sources.
WORK THE NIGHT SHIFT? BEWARE DIABETES – WebMD
(We thought a job bussing tables at the local all-night diner would build character in our 7 year old. Never could we have foreseen that Charlie would catch diabetes!)
DIABETES LINKED TO POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION? – KCEN-TV
(Charlie, is there something you'd like to tell us?)
SUPER-MANGO TO FIGHT DIABETES - Courier Mail
(Will Super-Mango escape the sticky Islets of Langerhans and the evil clutches of Killer T Cell before it's too late? Will sidekick Super-Kiwi get off his hairy ass and lend a hand? Tune in next time.)
TAKING REGULAR NAPS COULD INCREASE RISK OF DIABETES – Scotsman
(Ben. Ben!!! Wake up!! You're gonna get diabetes!)
TOO LITTLE SLEEP MAY RAISE DIABETES RISK – China Post
(Shhh, shhhhh, sorry. My bad. Close your eyes. Back to sleep!)
SPACE WAGES WAR WITH DIABETES – WTRF
(Oh snap, diabetes! You really stepped in it this time! Now you pissed off space!)
PLANT BARK COULD TREAT DIABETES – Belfast Telegraph
(Whew! For a moment there, I was beginning to think Charlie would have diabetes forever. Guess we won't be needing all this Humalog [CLANK!])
CAN PANCAKES TAME DIABETES? – Daily Mail
(Sure, why not?)
LESS OF A STINK IN DIABETES PATIENTS? - Physorg.com
(Hmmm, good question. Let me see. 'Charlie, can you come here a sec?' Sniff, sniff. Whoah! Good heavens! Definitely not. He stinks just as much as ever. 'How about brushing your teeth, Charlie! Your plant bark breath is horrendous!)
