It happened when I was giving the baby a bath on Sunday evening. It was the first time in a week. It wasn't really a light bulb moment, just something that felt familiar. That oh yeah, I remember.

My four year old wanted to watch me, to "help" with the baby's bath. Everything she did made me want to scream-moving the step stool closer to the sink, talking jibber jabber to the baby, touching the water to make sure it wasn't too hot or cold. She wasn't being annoying, she wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary, she just wanted to be involved. And all I could do was tell her to Stop! Stop! Just Stop It! I was thinking Just Leave Me Alone,I Want To Do This Myself,Alone,Get Away From Me!

And then it hit me-literally like a ton of bricks. At the airport the day before, I bought a smallish bag of M&M's. Just a handful in the airport and that was it for Saturday. But I had a heavy lunch of Wendy's that day-and hadn't taken any insulin to cover it-and then an equally heavy fast food dinner, again with no insulin. Why I didn't cover with the insulin that I had in my bag I really don't know. A post for another day, I guess.

So on Sunday, I was recovering from the carb-heavy Saturday and then topped it off with the rest of those M&M's, which I ate mostly in secret. Not to mention an assortment of white flour carbs in the form of pre-made sandwiches and frozen pizza. (That's what happens when you've been gone for a week. You eat what you can find until you go to the store.) All of which had been essentially cleansed from my system the previous week which I had spent with my family at my parents' house out of town. I was a good person with diabetes that week. I checked my sugar often, I took insulin to cover too many carbs, I didn't eat sweets. Well, I ate fewer sweets. Sunday evening, though, I was high. Plain and simple.

Looking back, I felt wonderful that entire week. I didn't get unnecessarily annoyed. I didn't snip. I always treated my children and my husband with respect. And it took me a bag of M&Ms and a couple trips to a fast food joint to remember that.