I’m sorry.

I know the first “no no” in blogging is to not post about why you have not posted in a while but still this must be addressed.

Life has been a major downer for me lately. My blood sugars have been through the roof, I have put on almost all the weight I lost while on Weight Watchers, and I moved.

First I will tell you that we had to move, we did not choose to. We were owners and are now renting a home. I am sure you can read between those lines. Being 35 with 2 kids and starting over is not only difficult but extremely depressing. The feeling of being a failure had been engulfing me for months. It has made it hard to write and share that with you all not only because of embarrassment but because I did not want to be a downer.

Due to the depression I have given up on Weight Watchers, for now. I do plan on going back but for several months I just ate. And ate and ate. It was complete self sabotage and I did not care. I just wanted to stuff my face and feel worse. Who cares about all the hard work I put in. I am a failure so why not fail at everything.

That was my mentality.

With all that eating and not caring, my blood glucose levels have been atrocious. At times I wished diabetes would just win and then maybe my family would be able to keep our home with the insurance money. Can you believe I thought that way?

This is why I have been away. I did not want to bring you all down.

The dumb thing about this absence is sharing with all of you would have probably made me feel a whole lot better. Just being able to share this post is somehow healing. Your comments and support have carried me through many struggles and I am sorry I did not share that all with you.

I cannot guarantee I will not hide away again one day in a moment of stupidity but I promise I will try my best to not do so.

One thing I feel I must say again is…

I’m sorry.