Diabetic Recipes
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This might sound odd and I'll probably get various opinions on the topic, but I decided to try online "dating." I haven't had success with meeting the right person here in college, so having someone else pick for me seemed like a great idea. My logic is that more mature, serious guys will be on dating sites, rather than the typical college scene.
As I set up my profile on one of the sites, I started to wonder about how to present my conditions (both my diabetes and my other conditions). I decided to leave it out of the "About Me" sections for fear that people might judge me and move on. I didn't want to have my "cover" read incorrectly.
Some of the questions asked about energy level and mood and emotional stability. As I read over them, I realized that my body was lying about who I actually am. My body's energy level doesn't match the way my mind works most of the time. My body decides to have mood swings without my mind deciding that's the right choice. So I went with my mind, instead of my body (who wants a low-energy, moody woman?).
Now that my profile is set up, I've been matched with a few people who have proceeded to communicate with me. As the questions go on, I'm finding myself extremely hesitant to mention my health. Do I lay my cards on the table? Or do I hold them back until I've got the better hand?
In the "real world" of dating, I find myself laying my diabetes cards on the table. It's safer for me, just in case I have a low. And it's a lot easier to check my blood sugar and wear a pump when the other person knows. But I always hold my other health issues back. Those are the ones that are too personal, embarrassing, and shameful for me to talk about. I don't want to tell a date that sometimes I can barely get out of bed or that if I start crying randomly, it's just my hormones.
But the online dating scene is completely different. You're picking and choosing your words and getting to know someone on a different level. It isn't about dinner and the movies. Yet. It's about learning the inside of someone before the outside.
So is diabetes my inside? Or my outside? Are my other health issues only inside? Or do they creep into the outside me as well? Am I lying by omission if I don't "confess" to having health issues? Certainly, I'm holding some things back (like how I'm OCD clean or an extreme perfectionist), but is health so major that it can't be omitted?
I want to be the advocate and tell any potential dates that I do have health issues. But the stereotypes of society tell me that keeping my mouth shut is a better option. I don't want the judgment of being "sickly" or "moody." So can you successfully tell someone about health issues without judgments being passed?
Wow. You hit my nail right on the head there. Though I must admit that you're braver than I am by even making an attempt to date. I've given it up all together because of my health. Though I miss it more than I lead on. And I don't want to be alone...I just don't want to feel like someone is with me out of pity. So when you find out the golden answer, I'd love to hear about it.
I was in the same place a few months ago. Having met someone who knew about my diabetes from a mutual friend and found me too "high maintenance" swore me off dating for along time. I decided earlier this year to jump in and try it out again. I put in my profile under "things I can't live without", insulin. I met someone amazing who doesn't give my diabetes any negative attention at all and thinks It's crazy that anyone ever said that I was high maintenance. He now has dealt with highs and lows, found room in his fridge for juice boxes and extra bottles of insulin, and tries to find the nutritional information on anything we eat. It's simply amazing, and I have to say that it was an important thing to disclose pretty early because I wouldn't have wanted to pursue anything with him if his attitude was anything different. We will be married in March
That's a tough question. Part of me says to be open and honest knowing that you may get less opportunities because of it. The other part says that it's personal and you will tell who you choose at the time of your choosing.
I had the gift of meeting my now wife a few years before being diagnosed. I am blessed that she stuck by me and supports me.
I think OCD clean is a good thing and know I'm not alone... :)
GOOD POST!!!
I have been T! for 38 years. I developed Alopecia 22 years ago (lost ALL of my hair)
So this issue is hitting home for me.
I have internet dated for a couple years. You will get the good, the bad, and the ugly. I dont lay all of my cards on the table when I first meet them. (Yes, I have actually met some of these guys)
I do tell them a bit after we get to know each other. I have never had anyone judge me because of the Diabetes. They have turned tail when they find out I am bald.
Your question IS a good one. If we could actually SEE diabetes...as one can SEE someone who is bald....
In the end..I dont want to waste any of my time with someone who judges on either issue. I am who I am. Love it or leave it.
Lindsey!
Hey! It's Tracy. I met my husband by doing online dating. I hated the dating scene and wasn't much into clubs or bars...and I had an infant to take care of at the time. We talked online and on the phone for about a month before we met in person. He knew from the beginning that I was diabetic.
Think about this....if you are afraid to "put it all out there" in fear that you will have less responses....do you really want to waste your time on someone who may not stick around. Let them know you are diabetic...you will probably find a nice mature man who is interested in you for you and will appreciate your honesty. Wouldn't you want to know if the roles were reversed?
My hubby knew about my diabetes, my son, my ex-husband, my depression and a whole bunch of other stuff and he still wanted to meet me.
If someone would not be interested in you because of diabetes or other health concerns, do you really want to invest your time in them? Why not look for the right guy from the beginning?