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February 10th, 2012
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jbelluch on Flickr

I think God has a sick sense of humor. You see, I have this terrible love of sweets. My favorite things are cheesecake, biscuits, cookies, cakes, muffins, and all things carb-filled.

 

When I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 4, they told me and my family that I couldn't eat any sugar. So my life turned into a sugar-free terror. The cookies and candies were always different than what my brothers ate. I was told when and what to eat in every excruciating detail.

 

Then we started counting carbs when I was about 11. No more nasty sugar-free foods. I could drink real soda for once. I could eat my own birthday cake. I could eat anything!

 

It's been downhill from there. Sometime between sugar-free and carbs, I developed a love of carbs. Potatoes, dinner rolls, pasta, waffles, and the ever present cheesecake are the only things I ever want.

 

I usually tell myself that I can eat anything I want, because rightfully I can. But there are always consequences to what I eat. There is always guilt. I know that the cookies I bake aren't going to settle nicely with my blood sugar. There will be war.

 

I know that all the things I love are full of carbs and require loads of insulin that I hate to put into my body. I know that all these treats are my inevitable downfall. Yet I can't overcome it.

 

I still love vegetables and fruit and eat them both quite regularly. But I also want to follow them with foods like chocolate chip muffins or banana nut bread. I want Reese's candies and real soda.

 

Maybe it's God's humor. Maybe it's the deprivation for a good part of my life. Or maybe it's just the way I am. No matter the cause, I've got to get this under control so I don't end up with blood sugars in the 200's and twenty pounds heavier.




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Michelle Kowalski
Michelle KowalskiMichelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
Lindsey Guerin
Lindsey GuerinLindsey is a typical, yet unique, Texas girl who loves shopping, movies and reading. She loves to travel and take risks. She dreams of diabetes cures, never-ending cheesecake and her own airplane. The rest you can discover in her blog! (Read More)
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