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My latest A1c was 7.3. I'm feeling very neutral about it. It's neither high nor low to me. My goal is still 6.5, so the disappointment of being so far off from that is bothering me. But overall, I know that 7.3 is still down from where it was before (7.6) and in a moderately good range for me.

I know that getting below 7 is one of the hardest things to do, if not the hardest, so I can't be too hard on myself. It's very frustrating though that it is so hard to get there. Why can't this be a little easier? Or why can't I be a little better at getting things right? I know that I don't do everything right (I'm human!), but I also know that my slip-ups are exactly why my A1c is 7.3.

The few things that I wish I could do right are actually quite simple. Yes, they are time consuming. They are annoying. They are sometimes painful. But overall, they are simple.

I could work out more (or just work out, period) to develop a better schedule and use less insulin. But instead, I watch TV or hang out with friends. You would think that my want to lose weight and my want for a lower A1c would make me hit the gym, but I can't find that one motivation. Even taking a walk every night would be helpful, but instead I'm sitting around.

I could wear my sensor more, instead of avoiding it at all costs. My insurance pays for most of them, so it isn't like I need to save money. And I've gotten fairly comfortable with wearing it. So what's my problem? Is it just too much information? Too much trouble to calibrate? Too annoying to see the trending upwards after meals? I'm really not sure.

I also keep getting behind on making adjustments. For the month that my blood sugars were up, I barely wrote down or checked my blood sugar. I knew it would be high, so why check? Great logic, huh? I need to get over these fears of seeing the number and realize that admitting the number and treating it is a whole lot better than acting like they don't exist.

The biggest thing I could do is to watch my food. My carb intake went up to about 150 grams per day when school started back up. I'm eating pizza or drinking real sodas, when I used to avoid most high carb treats. Instead of salad, I eat rice. Instead of fruit, I eat cookies. Instead of water, I drink juice. It isn't like I'm eating poorly; I'm just not eating wisely. And my blood sugars take a toll with every high carb meal.

I've realized that I do want to try the Symlin that I've talked about previously. Even if I could get post-prandials below 160, which would be greatly improved from often hitting the 200's. It isn't that my carb factor is off; it's simply that the insulin doesn't peak correctly. I could also try bolusing ten minutes before I normally do.

Basically, there are a lot of things that I need to be doing, but I'm just not. Yet I complain about how hard it is to get my A1c down. I know that I won't be perfect. I don't even want to be! I also know that I want to live a long and healthy life, so making these changes and creating habits now will certainly pay off. So here's to making changes and lowering those numbers!