In two weeks I have my next endo appointment scheduled and I am already nervous.

I am eating like it is going out of style and my increase of mass is proof positive! At work I am constantly munching on anything I can get my hands on and continue with it when I get home! I feel like I will never get back on track with Weight Watchers. I feel so far gone.

And because of all the poor food choices my blood sugars have paid the price. I keep running high all day to only crash in the middle of the night. I feel out of wack and completely out of control.

So now I have to face the music with my endocrinologist and frankly I don’t want to.

I want to ditch.

It is silly that I think this way. I want to ditch diabetes every day and I know I cannot. Taking a break from this stupid disease would be awesome! But that won’t happen and frankly if I don’t go and face the music then I could allow diabetes to take up even more of my time if I have complications.

So I guess it is settled. I will just have to listen to my doctor say, “You have to eat better. Lose weight. Get your a1c down!”

Maybe I will finally do it for good.