curious_spider

The past four days have been a real pain. I have no idea what my problem is, but I just can't seem to get my diabetes right. I had been going fine, doing everything correctly, testing like a mad woman, and getting great averages.

But something got a hold of me on Sunday night and hasn't let me go. I'm checking a lot still, but I'm seeing numbers like 180 or 220 instead of 100 or 120. I'm eating anything and everything I want. I'm not bolusing for snacks. I'm not calculating boluses correctly. Basically, I'm just slacking.

For the past few months, I've done everything really well. I feel like I made a lot of progress with diabetes emotionally and numerically. I got the books to help me get over the burnout. I got into the habit of checking and logging my blood sugar. I was actively using my pump.

Even when school started back up, I was checking and logging. I was trying to follow a reasonable diet. I was keeping up with my exercise. I was changing my pump to match my needs.

But somewhere in the last two weeks, I guess the burnout came back. Between all the hours of class I have, the projects I'm working on, and my jobs (yes, that's multiple!), I guess diabetes became too much of a hassle. I know diabetes is always a hassle, but sometimes I ignore that fact and just manage.

It's amazing how when other things in your life start slipping, your diabetes seems to slip as well. Like my sleep habits and my routine. I haven't quite figured out the best way to manage my schedule and I can't seem to sleep well in the last two weeks. In turn, that makes my food choices take a turn for the worst because I'm either too tired to find something healthy or constantly hungry so I just keep snacking.

Because my sleep and diet are off, my body feels sluggish (like before I started my bio-identical hormones). I'm more apt to put off exercise or going out because I just don't feel like doing much. My diet, sleep, and exercise are all off and I'm just sitting around doing nothing (except eating).

All of these factors have taken a turn for the worst on my blood sugars. I'm bouncing all over the place, forgetting boluses, and under/over correcting certain blood sugars. The crazy blood sugars and crazy insulin intake are making me even more sluggish. What an endless cycle!

I wouldn't say that I'm burned out on diabetes again. I wouldn't say I'm exhausted of it. I just feel like it's a tax on my life right now that I don't want to handle (denial?). Yet I hate seeing those numbers slowly rise.

Someone kick me into shape!