The following are actual headlines published recently:
HOLLAND ON VERGE OF DIABETES EXPLOSION – Dutch News
"Synthia Van Vechten reporting live from Amsterdam where the region is bracing for a massive diabetes explosion. Businesses and residences have taken precaution, boarding up windows and relocating to more secure locations in the north. Others such as Joop Nederhorst, who I spoke to earlier, have ignored national warnings to evacuate, brazenly saying that he is not afraid of people with diabetes. That's right, you heard me correctly – 'not afraid of people with diabetes.' Just when I thought I've heard everything … Back to you in the studio Tabitha."
YOUTH DIABETES IN EUROPE SET TO EXPLODE – Sky News
"Thank you, Synthia. Let us go right to Charlotte Brossolette in Paris where explosions have already begun."
"That's right, Tabitha, La Ville-Lumière felt its first blast of diabetes at approximately 7:30 this morning. As you might imagine, there is a great deal of panic in the streets. I'm standing here with Claude and Evelyne Descamps, who have owned and operated Descamps' Shoe Repair for over 63 years, and are now going through the painful process of sifting through the wreckage. What was once a thriving business is now a pile of debris such as syringes, insulin vials and children with elevated blood sugars. Tabitha …"
ASIA FACING DIABETES EXPLOSION – BBC
"Grim. Grim, indeed. Thank you Charlotte Brossolette in Paris. Stay safe."
"News of diabetes explosions have been coming in from all corners of the globe. The latest from Asian correspondent Simon Triggs-Hodge in Jakarta. Simon: Can you describe the scene on the streets of Jakarta?"
"Tabitha, here in Indonesia, the republic is taking no chances at all. All schools and businesses have been closed by mandatory order and the people have been instructed to stay in their homes until the diabetes explosions are over. If we can get a shot of the city block [thanks guys] you'll see that Jakarta is mostly a ghost town at this hour. A curfew has been put in place and the government has instructed that people stay inside – especially in the evening. It is still unknown exactly what form diabetics take on when the sun goes down. Tabitha, it is just about dusk here, and the local officials are telling us to wrap it … Oh my god! What is that? What is that??? Oh god! What do you want? No! Stay away! I don't have any orange juice! No! I said I don't have orange ...!"
"Simon?"
"Simon, are you still with me? "
"Simon?"
