Barnaby
Blogging is difficult for me sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love this website and everyone associated with the Blogabetes community. Each and every one of you continue to be an enormous help. I can come on here and rant and rave to the ENTIRE WORLD about my life with diabetes. I make friends, I laugh, I tear up, and it's all wonderful. It's fantastic and I have no doubt this will continue to be an extremely helpful thing for me and everyone else too. At times though, the only thing I crave is complete and utter privacy, freedom from the world of diabetes and from everything. The last thing on my mind is the desire to share one more personal diabetic experience with the world. I have come to the conclusion there are a couple reasons why I feel this way.
One reason why I have trouble blogging sometimes is depression. I have never been to see anyone about this very serious subject. Nor do I plan to any time soon. As many of you know, I openly discuss the methods I use to combat my (diabetes-related) depression. It's the stuff I talk about on here. Martial arts, working out, and doing whatever it takes to battle through the hard times. I guess I want to try and maintain my "natural" way of coping with depression. I haven't gotten to the point (recently anyway) where I feel I need medicine or counseling for depression. Maybe having that kind of attitude is exactly why I should?
I have a lot of questions and thoughts about it. Who isn't on depression medicine these days? Isn't everybody? It seems like so many people in today's world are taking medication for depression. I'm not making light of this situation or joking either.
If you're not taking medication, doesn't just about everybody deal with some kind of depression? I have seen statistics pertaining to diabetes and depression and it's, well, depressing. It's just another one of those categories where people with diabetes are included.
The other reason why I have difficulty sharing my stories sometimes is because of sensitivity. Maybe it's just me, but after getting diabetes I became much more sensitive. It's hard having the entire internet as your audience. I try to be very careful about the things I say and the thoughts and experiences I share with you on here. You never know who's reading your stuff. You want to trust that you can divulge your deepest and darkest secrets and stories. But in today's world it's different. This is my diabetic diary of sorts and I leave it open for you to thumb through. Thank you for continuing to be respectful and for your continued support. It's the reason why I still contribute and enjoy it.
Andy.
I understand how you feel. I too find it hard to decide what's private and what's not, even though I post under a pseudonym. I've struggled with depression & anxiety myself and the D doesn't help. Taking "blogging breaks" might be a good way to stop focusing so much on diabetes on a daily basis.
Depression is a mental disorder that can be linked to a bunch of other disorders & diseases. I have schizoaffective/bipolar type & my depression stems from that mostly but I get days when my diabetes gets me down because my numbers weren't what I thought they should be or I can't have something chocolaty that I'm lusting for. As for meds, yea there are a lot of people on depression meds and other psychotropic drugs but I've found that a lot of these people are simply having bad days in a row. A lot of drs are pushing the meds because it gives them a reason to feel needed and it makes them money. If you're depressed, you have to come in a few times in a couple of months to check on the progress of your meds. Shrinks get $150 an hour. Wouldn't you want to give yourself more work if you got that kind of dough? Keep up the natural way Andy. You'll be better off in the end because every med has side effects that we ALL end up regreting. I know, that's how I got dx with T2. Shane
Andy,
I'm on the same depression medication as you. I think I can speak for others when I say your openness and willingness to share is appreciated very much. Sometimes it's enough to know you are not alone. Later,
-Kirk
Thanks Kirk, Shane, and araby62. Thank you all for taking the time to comment. I appreciate your thoughts. You guys make this site what it is. Talk with you guys soon. -Andy
I have a different take on this....and I think you need somewhere to feel safe. OK, so people will read what you write here. But diabetes is a tough enough diagnosis, without all the emotional second-guessing. We do enough of that just dealing with the day to day demands of coping with diabetes. Some days (like today for instance), for me...diabetes sucks. It is cold, and snowy and I feel sad, for good reason. My numbers have been all over the map.
Yup, Yuppers..that is enough to affect my mood. I 'know' that...but dealing with this crap everyday is the pits. People w/o diabetes just don't 'get it.' But you guys do.
That helps....alot. But for me today...the color of my diabetic world is blue.