As a person living with chronic health conditions, it isn't hard to remember how life can really be. How short things are, how quickly time flies, and just how important the little things need to be. With the way humanity is, it's easy to let that all pass by without even considering the bigger picture.

So I try my hardest to count the smallest things. The simple joys in life. The blessed moments. The things that make you smile and nod. Even when things seem truly dark, the tiniest moment can change the whole perspective. A slight reminder that life is short, that time is to be cherished, and that you can never have enough fun.

Today, I feel like giving thanks. I was down on Wednesday...just feeling the weight of all my stress. My burden was heavy. But two days of the small things...and I'm lighter and happier.

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The Mr. took No. 1 to his last well-child doctor's visit. I should have gone. I'm such an information junkie that I ask so many questions of The Mr. after things like this that it would have just made more sense for me to have gone.

I was shocked to learn that No. 1 is in the 91st percentile for weight. Dr. N, who I absolutely love, sent a note home about increasing the amount of fruits and veggies No. 1 eats and decreasing the amount of fats and sugars he eats.

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Since I changed my endocrinilogist last year, I've really been happy with my experiences with Dr. K. She's the kind of doctor that means business but doesn't come off as if she's judging you. She tells you what she thinks, but leaves it up to you what to do. So usually, I'm fairly excited (yes, I said excited) about going to see her. Even when I know I've been doing 85% of things wrong.

This appointment didn't feel that way though. I just really didn't want to have to go. I've been making some changes and my averages are down. I didn't want to hear that I'd been doing this and this wrong, even if she does leave off the judgement. I just wasn't willing to expose all those mistakes to the light.

And I feel torn between wishing I would have canceled and being excited about the outcome.

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2 weeks ago

I could hear the laughter from the comedy club in the distance, echoing through the basement corridors. The comedian’s muffled words reverberated from his microphone and the crowd roared in response. I could hear the dampened jokes as if they were being delivered from the other end of a tunnel, but for the life of me, I couldn’t find the comedy club. I felt like I was walking around in circles for hours and I hadn’t seen a soul.

Finally, an elevator opened up. I attempted to step in but people were packed in like sardines. There was no room for me.

Odd dream.

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Après moi, le déluge.

In Genesis Chapter 9, G-d commands Noach to build a watertight vessel and to stock it with all species of life known to man. Following this interchange, the earth was subjected to forty days and forty nights of rain, sufficient to wash all living things -- except for those ensconced in the ark -- from the earth.

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It's my Spring Break. Nine days of no school. The last one of my college career.

Usually this time of year, my mom and I are on a Mexican beach sipping strawberry daiquiris and dreaming of a permanent vacation from everything. That time spent away is necessary for both of us. She needs the break from work to rejuvenate. And I need the break from all this life to avoid a major breakdown.

This year, we're spending our vacation time and effort on the European graduation trip though. So my Spring Break is spent here at home. Don't get me wrong. I'm extremely grateful to both my parents for the Europe trip. I'm ecstatic that I'm spending 10 days touring Rome and seeing the islands of the Mediterranean.

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