Finding a new endocrinologist has proven to be quite interesting. First, my insurance apparently doesn't have a whole lot of options in my area (or maybe my area doesn't have a whole lot of options in general), especially in the female category. I had about 4 choices, one of which I'm currently seeing.

If you hadn't heard, I decided to change my endo because of a recent mess up regarding my test strip prescription that has me scrambling for more strips to last three months. This was the straw that broke the camel's back after two appointments with her that just didn't go as I'd like. She is a competent doctor, but she isn't the kind of doctor that I'm looking for.

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It really is the little things in life that make everything worthwhile. It's a productive day at work or an awesome fasting number. It's the fact that payday is tomorrow or a movie with the boyfriend.

Sometimes I have to take a moment and remind myself of all these tiny things that make my life great and worth living. It's so easy to get pulled under with all the negativity around you. The news, work, and other people's problems. It's easy to get pulled under with my own negativity about diabetes or PCOS or whatever it is.

Today, I'm taking a moment to remind myself of these little things in my life and the moments that make me stop and smile:

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Last night, I participated in a DiabetesSisters' PODS meetup for the first time. I've seen them online and always wanted to join, but there hasn't been anything in my area and I'm not in a position to add anything to my plate right now. I noticed it on the list last week and spoke with the woman leading the group.

So I made the trek (it's about an hour's drive for me) to the meetup and enjoyed an hour and a half of diabetes related conversation (with a little life mixed in) with three other diabetic women. Three of us were type one and the other type two. Two other women are supposed to join next time (one of them being a friend of mine who I met at JDRF).

It was nice to just sit and talk about lows and highs and doctors and all that goes on. For DiabetesSisters, there are some "guidelines" supplied for these meetings. The facilitator goes through a training to even host the meeting.

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This weekend ended way too quickly and I'm very ready for the coming one. Marvin was out of town last week so I decided to make the drive to my mom's and visit with her over the weekend. I miss her beyond all belief and wish that both our schedules made it easier to make the 4 hour drive.

We chatted for awhile on Friday night since I arrived pretty late. Saturday, I battled all those low blood sugars but ended the day with dinner and a movie with my mom and a blood sugar of 157. I cut the Lantus down that night and woke up at 176 (I did eat a snack without bolusing the night before).

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After a lot of tsuris which I'm certain Mom never meant to visit upon us, her remains were laid to rest on Friday the 13th, and — for what it's worth, since we've been far from traditional about it — the week of shivah, the deepest mourning, has been observed.

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It's hard to be sad when you have diabetes.  It really does complicate the hell out of heartache. 

There are so many things in my life that are beautiful, gorgeous, and easy.  That keep me smiling and feeling good.  Lately though, there's been one area of struggle.  I won't go into the details, but let's just say anyone who's experienced real love and then real confusion around that real love could relate.

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