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Practice makes near perfect at bedtime

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October 25, 2016
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Diabetes is often a real taker. I've been reflecting quite a bit lately around the things I perceive that diabetes has "stolen" from my life.

As a child, the carefree, burdenless days of my youth were saddled with worrying about lows and highs and things I'd hear or overhear about diabetes and it's impact. Like when my Uncle Phil ended up having an amputation because of his diabetes and I overheard an aunt saying to my mother (thinking I was out of earshot) "If she's not careful it could happen to her too..."

As a young adult, it was understanding that participating in team sports was going to take some accommodation and understanding that just because I could keep up on a run or on a field or in a studio dancing, didn't mean I was going to pay the price later. This little bit of "taking" continues today.

Now, as an adult, I see that diabetes is making aging slightly more difficult for me. As my hormones have changed, so has my dosing and monthly cycles have become incredibly hard to manage. Diabetes has brought thyroid issues that make weight management a struggle. Diabetes has made any consideration that I might have had a child now (when I'm ready, as opposed to ten or fifteen years ago when my body was willing, but my lifestyle and brain were not anywhere near able) impossible. Too many risks, too much at stake.

It can be disheartening, even when balanced against the good things diabetes has gifted me. And I am constantly trying to find ways to alleviate, to feel gratitude over negativity, to be here and now in the healthy state I'm in instead of worrying toward complications or what's been taken from me.

Of late, as I'm working toward increasing my yoga practice, I have also started to think more about meditation and learning more about my inner self. I have always struggled with meditation. Yoga is wonderful, because the movement helps to quiet my mind. I set an intention and focus on breath and I'm able to take myself out of the worrying hustle bustle, even if just for a little while. But meditation that requires being seated or still is challenging. Stilling my mind without movement has felt next to impossible for a long time. But I recognize that I do need to do it. I do need to find some presence and peace. So I'm studying up. Wondering if any readers out there have suggestions for types of meditation (not walking, which I have done and enjoy very much)? Hope there are some suggestions...

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