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February 6, 2016
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The Shaky Shakes

Let me first say that I have no idea what it's like to have type 1 diabetes and I can’t even begin to know what many of you brave D-warriors go through on a daily basis.

That said …

My chest felt so hot that you could have baked Tollhouse cookies on it. I unbuttoned the top button of my shirt and reached inside as if feeling for a flesh wound.

I looked at my wet fingertips and stood up on shaky gummy worm legs. My body ached for sugar.

I made a focused bee-line down the stairs and into the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and closed it quickly. I found an open bag of animal crackers just under my nose as I ransacked the snack cabinet. I reached in and grabbed a handful of polar bears, elephants and lions and shoved them into my mouth like a savage.

I lifted my hand up horizontally in the air and watched as it shook uncontrollably.

I pried open a Tupperware container and devoured two cinnamon sugar cookies and a slice of pound cake.

I ripped open a bag of chocolate-covered almonds with my teeth and tossed four into my mouth while taking a bottle of apple juice out of the refrigerator and pouring a glass.

Still with animal crackers and cookies and pound cake and almonds in my mouth, I guzzled the juice and looked again and my shaky horizontal hand.

All I wanted to do was eat and crawl under the covers until it passed. I darted back up the stairs with another cookie in a napkin, ignored family members who tried talking to me and slipped back into my bed.

Two minutes later I left my bed and bolted downstairs again. I found the lower torso of a chocolate Easter bunny in the back of the refrigerator and obliterated it. I then polished off the remaining five chocolate-covered almonds.

Back in bed with my headphones on and an episode of Breaking Bad, I thought about how I handle Charlie's low blood sugars.

I thought about how Charlie is always still very hungry and wants more after he has a juice box and small snack. And how I discourage him from eating more - from over-treating the low blood sugar.

And I realized I can be a total ass with no clue of what it's like.

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Megan Holmes
Megan Holmes Megan was diagnosed in 2009 with Type I. As an RN, she was familiar with the medical side of her diagnosis; learning to be a good patient on the other hand, was and continues to be the challenge of her day to day life.   (Read More)
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