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Practice makes near perfect at bedtime

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September 26, 2016
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We found out that Charlie has been dealin' at school. All we know at this point is that he is the primary supplier at his middle school and that it's been going on for a long time. What we're looking into now is just how far and wide his network stretches. How many other middle schools? Which neighboring towns? That sort of thing.

The saddest part really is that one of Charlie's good friends has gotten caught up in it and unfortunately, he is Charlie's number one customer. Addiction is ugly.

But what can you do? His friend loves Charlie's glucose tabs.

His friend has been paying top dollar for the sugary snack – 50 cents per tablet. I’m no math wiz, but I think that comes to about 500 bucks for a canister of 50 tabs. Hmmm …. 500 bucks.

Is a middle school glucose tab ring really so bad? Instead of punishing him, maybe Charlie should be commended for his entrepreneurism. Maybe I should even embrace it. Though being a glucose tab lord certainly has its challenges.

“Where’s the rest?” I ask as Charlie lays the cash out onto the bed in neat piles of $10s and $20s.

“What do you mean?” Charlie asks, aligning the bills.

“I mean it sure seems a little light this week, don’t you think???”

“I don’t know, I guess. Andrew was out sick this week.”

I stare at Charlie.

“Oh, was he?”

“Yes! He was!”

“Don't take that tone with me! You wouldn’t be anything without me. I made you! Who gets you the tabs?!?”

“You do.”


“You do!”

“Let's not forget that!”

"And if you want to go to Disney this year, you'll up those sales!"

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