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April 20, 2014
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The Bargaining Table

From my perspective, it was a very long four days without the Dexcom. From Charlie’s perspective, four days was not nearly enough.

He walked into the kitchen reluctantly, nervously biting the neckband of his t-shirt as has become the routine. He passed straight through the kitchen nonchalantly as if no one would notice, clearing the security checkpoint and crossing the border into the apparent freedom of the living room.

“Charlie! Come back!”

He took the long way back and meandered back in like a slug, tugging on his shirt sleeve with his teeth.

I readied the numbing cream, squeezing it like an empty tube of toothpaste.

Charlie’s cheeks glowed pink and tears began to fill his eyes. His voice quivered when he spoke.

“Why do we have to do it now?” he asked.

“I’ve gone this long without a sensor and I survived!”

We’ve had this battle before. Charlie knew better than anyone that the last nine CGM-less years have not been a walk in the park.

We told him that we were lucky he survived without the sensor and reminded him that we’re up checking him all night long when he doesn’t have it on. I brought up the fact that he crept up to 400 a day earlier without any of us knowing.

“That never would have happened if you were wearing the sensor.”

I sounded like a jerk. Like a know-it-all dad from a bad made-for-TV movie.

Charlie revised his argument in an attempt to get at least one more day without a small medical device implanted into his arm.

“So tomorrow you won’t do the same thing?” I asked. “You won’t try to put it off another day?”

“No,” he said.

“Fine,” I said. “Tomorrow it is. Let’s shake on it.”

I extended my hand toward him and felt the small bones in his fingers squeeze mine – both of us leaving the bargaining table feeling moderately satisfied with our negotiations.

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Megan Holmes
Megan Holmes Megan was diagnosed in 2009 with Type I. As an RN, she was familiar with the medical side of her diagnosis; learning to be a good patient on the other hand, was and continues to be the challenge of her day to day life.   (Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle Kowalski Michelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes.   (Read More)
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