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October 24, 2016
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Hamlet: Type 2, Strip 1

With regards to Shakespeare, who may have seen the Ghost of Hamlets Past...

To test, or not to test: that is the question
Whether 'tis cheaper in the budget to suffer
Forgetful seniors and eBay resales
Or to take arms against the world's Wil' Brimleys
And by defunding, end them? To test, to learn
No more; and by a test to say we learn
Our glucose levels and th'effective diets
To manage diabetes, 'tis an occupation
Health'ly to be wish'd. To test, to learn;
To learn, to treat: ay, there's the rub:
For without insulin, what may one do
'Gainst unpredicted highs? Not swallow'd caps
Prescribed to take alone with dinner's meats.
High A1cs: there's the result
That Medicaid bean counters worry not —
For they bear not the sweaters on their teeth
The Neuropathies, the fuzzy vision,
The shakes of glycemic lows, the sweats and chills,
The fears of sleeping deaths and DKAs
The diabetic complications grown
From uncontroll'd extremes one might avoid
With a bare lancet. Why should they risk funds
To weakly make defense against a failing life
But for the dread of lawsuits from our deaths
And damages awarded to our heirs.
That some choose not to test puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those lancet pricks
Than lose our kidneys, limbs, and eyes, and lives.
Thus 'betes doth make testers of us all;
And thus our well-intentioned resolution
Competes against the gov'ment's budgets,
And enterprises of great cost, like healthcare,
With this regard seem more to hasten death
And lose the faith of all.

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