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October 22, 2016
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The Diabetes Card

Yeah, I’ll admit it. I played the diabetes card recently.


Charlie and his best friend were trying to both be selected for stage crew for an upcoming school performance. When his friend didn’t hear back from the organizers, I flashed my D card. I requested that the boys be together because the friend knew the symptoms and had accompanied Charlie on many trips to the nurse’s office through the years.  I said that his presence backstage would give us some peace of mind.


It was mostly true.


How about you? Do you ever play the diabetes card? On the job or at school? Maybe to avoid going out with that creepy guy who keeps asking you out?


Speaking of creepy guys …


A former teacher in Montreal admitted that he stripped online for four female students back in 2009. At his court hearing, however, the man said that it was his type 1 diabetes that was to blame for his actions.


Type 1 diabetes put the man in a frame of mind in which “anything can happen,” he told the judge at his sentencing.


It just so happens he was in a similar frame of mind about a dozen times over a five-year period. Apparently once his glucose level hit a certain level, he became Magic Mike.


He’s like a werewolf unable to stop the transformation when the moon is full. Or in this case, when the sugar is low.


“I feel low, I feel low, I feel low, I feel low, I feel low, I feel low …”


“I feel SEXY!”


“I feel very sexy!”


“I feel uncharacteristically sexy.”


“I feel so sexy that I must seductively peel off all of my clothes and whip my hair around in circular motions and swing upside down on a pole!”


“To the song Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue.”


“For young girls to see.”


“Young girls from the school where I taught.”


“Damn you, diabetes! Why must you make me do these things?!?”

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