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October 28, 2016
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Diabetes Mad Libs (Entry #3)

On Friday, I asked people to submit various nouns, adjectives and verbs, etc. The response was insane (3-ish).


Our last one comes from Lorraine and Caleb over at This is Caleb. Thanks so much for playing!


So You’d Like to Wear a Continuous Glucose Monitor!


Congratulations! You’ve taken the first step to improved control over your type 1 diabetes.


But keep in mind; it’s not all BOXES and BENCHES. Putting a continuous glucose monitor on your body can be a SMELLY experience for many people SWINGING with type 1 diabetes.  But once set up with the proper settings, the CGM might one day save your SCHOOL.


First, you need to decide where you will insert the CGM.  It’s a good idea to choose a STRONG part of the body.  Some people like to wear a CGM on their ARM and others like to wear it on their LEG. Personally, I recommend the HEAD. It’s important to choose a location that is not restricted by EARPHONES.


Once you find your spot, you’ll want to apply HOT COCOA to the area and let it sit for 1 MILLION minutes. Once the area is good and ENORMOUS, it’s time to begin.


Understand, however, that children do not like having a 650 inch needle inserted into their body. It takes a steady hand to insert the sensor needle when your child is shaking like a scared RHINOCEROS and screaming like DEREK JETER on fire. Don’t be surprised if he or she screams AHHHHHH!!! or Holy DISHES!!!


Press the button on the inserter tool to plunge the needle under the skin. With TEN fingers on the glucose sensor base, QUICKLY remove the introducer needle.


Do not be alarmed if you see a little bit of HONEY around the sensor area. This is completely normal.


Connect the transmitter to the CAR, slap some tape on it and you’re good to go!


A word of caution when setting sensor alarms. If alarms are set too tight, the sensor will DOINK!!! all day long. You’ll want to break the device into FIVE pieces and say, “This thing sucks BALLOONS!”


Look at you! You’re CGM-ing! Blood glucose values are appearing on your device every 50 minutes and you are getting a clear picture of patterns and trends.


Whether your glucose level is EATING low or SNEEZING high, your continuous glucose monitor is there to let you know. Eat all the APPLE you want. The CGM will keep an eye on things.


That is, until you outgrow diabetes.

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