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Year in Review - 2012
January: I'm sorry I stumbled into bed at midnight and woke you up; piss drunk on TLC and Discovery channel programming. Back-to-back episodes of Hoarders, dysfunctional tattoo artists and the fascinating sex life of giant sea clams of the Pacific.
February: Sometimes I'm like a state trooper knocking on her window. "Ma'am, are you aware of the fact that your son's blood sugar is 444?"
March: You flop and roll on the floor like you've been hit by an arrow. Wounded.
April: The chirping of birds strikes fear into my heart. It means it's morning and I never got up in the middle of the night to check Charlie's blood sugar.
May: The desire to micromanage my son's disease might always be there in some shape and form, but there is no denying that the process of letting go is afoot.
June: I lob Charlie's testing supplies like a grenade over the chain-link fence and into the dugout and ask him to test himself. One of Charlie's teammates stands over him mesmerized - staring inexplicably at the blood spilling out of Charlie's finger.
July: We may never know what truly led us to the emergency room on Thursday afternoon. Day four was a hyperglycemic disaster.
August: He comes downstairs and says he feels low. He is not low, but he's on the verge. A dab of pretzel. A drop of juice. A glance at his insulin pump. He is my science experiment. Constantly tweaking. Constantly experimenting on him. Observing. Changing dosage. Collecting data.
September: I really don't enjoy "wingin' it" with my son's life.
October: I was brushing my teeth when Charlie knocked on the door and asked if he could test my blood sugar to see how perfect it is.
November: A 10-year-old Pennsylvania boy was in a serious condition on Thanksgiving Day after a hit and run incident. The parents of the boy said that he was sitting at the east end of the table when he was violently struck with a blood sugar of 468 at about 5:30 pm.
December: It's hard not to look inward. At our own lives. At our own families. Those beautiful faces are the same faces we see bursting out of our elementary schools every day when the bell rings. Rushing out like a happy herd of puppies.
Looking back at my year through the posts I've written is an interesting personal study. It's a good way to measure mood over a twelve-month period. Diabetes being a major driver of my mood, the posts paint a pretty accurate picture to how I was feeling in 2012.
Regarding the management of Charlie's diabetes, the posts reveal many triumphs throughout the year, but also many sucky moments - one being our visit to the ER during summer hockey camp.
The posts show that I do get very angry and cynical and frustrated with diabetes, but never for too long. In the end, I always want to laugh.
Thanks for laughing with me and venting with me and for being a supportive friend.
Have a happy and healthy new year!
Michelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
Nicole Purcell lists having type 1 diabetes last when she's asked to provide information about herself - because that's where it belongs. (Read More)