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Practice makes near perfect at bedtime

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April 17, 2014
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Decisions


Thursday I had an appointment with my endo. I absolutely love her, but for the first time I found myself nervous about the visit. In light of my weight gain and sinus infections over the last few months, I had convinced myself that my A1C would be well over 7 (up from the prior 6.6) and that I was headed for a lecture. As I sat for the ceremonious finger prick in the office for my official BS reading and A1C, I found myself pleading with the drops of blood to please not be as bad as I had convinced myself they would be. Once I was comfortably seated in the exam room and saw my endo, I was immediately put at ease; she has the incredible talent of making you feel like a million bucks the minute she lays eyes on you. As we chatted about numbers, doses, CGM data, our kids, concerns, and some day to day stuff, she summed things up by saying my overall BS trends were beautiful and that my A1C was 6.6, pretty much where she wanted it. She went on to say that with the exception with some postprandial spiking, I had my BS under such tight control that there was NO room for me to eat anything extra. Basically if I did, it would result in weight gain, which was why I was seeing the higher numbers on the scale. We discussed the possible addition of Symlin to my diabetes treatment and gave me some info about it to look at and think about. I made my follow up appointment and was on my way with even more thoughts and emotions swirling around my head than I had walked in with, ugh!

As I embarked on my 45 minute drive home, I ping ponged between feeling successful and semi-victorious to feeling increasingly frustrated and angry. We battle each and every minute of every day to try and control this diabetes beast we all face, and just when you think maybe, just maybe you have it trapped in a cage; it finds a way to escape and wreak more havoc! Facing adding three more injections a day to attempt to obtain better BS balance and possibly get my weight back under control both excited me and made me hate my flawed body all at once. My stress level seemed to continue to rise as the drive went on. I mulled over the play by play of the appointment and I started feeling overwhelmed and a huge case of the woe is mes set in. Then, out of nowhere, one of my moms famous sayings popped into my head buck up little camper! I immediately started laughing and felt better. I decided at that very moment there was no need to make a snap decision. Overall my appointment went much better than I had imagined it would, and that alone was a positive outcome for the day! Driving into the garage and seeing my kids eagerly waiting at the door for me, I couldnt help but smile and be thankful for all of the good things in my day to day life. The research and decisions can wait for another day.at that moment I was going enjoy what was right in front of me.



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Megan Holmes
Megan Holmes Megan was diagnosed in 2009 with Type I. As an RN, she was familiar with the medical side of her diagnosis; learning to be a good patient on the other hand, was and continues to be the challenge of her day to day life.   (Read More)
Michelle Kowalski
Michelle Kowalski Michelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes.   (Read More)
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