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Process of Elimination: The Stress Version
I hit "ESC" on Toohey to double check when my last bolus was. Yep, right on time. I suspect I'll be slightly high since I changed my site this morning and had a fast-food breakfast. But when I see 304 I'm shocked. I squeezed out another glob of blood and checked again. This time 302. Son of a f*%#ing b*&%h!
I had taken 9.5 units to correct for a hideous fasting (which is why I changed my site a day early; I'd been running high since I put that site in on Sunday morning) and for the excessive amount of carbs I was eating for breakfast. I had even logged on to the restaurant's web site for nutrition information before bolusing.
I'm so livid now that I can't finish doing what I was doing. I can't think. What the hell is wrong? Two things came to mind:
- I've been having trouble with high post-prandials after a site change. I doubled my fixed prime and increased my morning insulin:carb ratio in an effort to head off the highs. So far it hasn't worked.
- I've been craving food lately. I meant to check the calendar last night to see where I am in my cycle since I tend to get ravenously hungry, have terrible cravings and can run unexpectedly high when I ovulate and just before my cycle starts.
After really thinking about it, though, I've determined that it's all of that, plus a little stress in the form of family history. I don't understand why I let this person's outrageously stupid comments get to me, but they apparently do. Oh how I would love to tell her off, but where would I start?
I felt the fire building as I was venting to a coworker. I didn't realize how upset I was until I sat back down at my desk and couldn't concentrate. My blood was boiling and all I wanted to do was yell and scream at this woman for being such a nasty, uncompassionate human being.
I was able to talk myself down and I wasin the feeling-fairly-normal arena until I checked my sugar. And now I'm mad at her all over again. I did a correction bolus using my bolus wizard, but I wouldn't be surprised if I start rage bolusing this afternoon. Maybe a little meditation and some laughter so she doesn't screw up my numbers all stinking day. Or maybe just remember the old adage: Stress is the confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately deserves it.
Megan was diagnosed in 2009 with Type I. As an RN, she was familiar with the medical side of her diagnosis; learning to be a good patient on the other hand, was and continues to be the challenge of her day to day life. (Read More)