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Process of Elimination: The Stress Version
I hit "ESC" on Toohey to double check when my last bolus was. Yep, right on time. I suspect I'll be slightly high since I changed my site this morning and had a fast-food breakfast. But when I see 304 I'm shocked. I squeezed out another glob of blood and checked again. This time 302. Son of a f*%#ing b*&%h!
I had taken 9.5 units to correct for a hideous fasting (which is why I changed my site a day early; I'd been running high since I put that site in on Sunday morning) and for the excessive amount of carbs I was eating for breakfast. I had even logged on to the restaurant's web site for nutrition information before bolusing.
I'm so livid now that I can't finish doing what I was doing. I can't think. What the hell is wrong? Two things came to mind:
- I've been having trouble with high post-prandials after a site change. I doubled my fixed prime and increased my morning insulin:carb ratio in an effort to head off the highs. So far it hasn't worked.
- I've been craving food lately. I meant to check the calendar last night to see where I am in my cycle since I tend to get ravenously hungry, have terrible cravings and can run unexpectedly high when I ovulate and just before my cycle starts.
After really thinking about it, though, I've determined that it's all of that, plus a little stress in the form of family history. I don't understand why I let this person's outrageously stupid comments get to me, but they apparently do. Oh how I would love to tell her off, but where would I start?
I felt the fire building as I was venting to a coworker. I didn't realize how upset I was until I sat back down at my desk and couldn't concentrate. My blood was boiling and all I wanted to do was yell and scream at this woman for being such a nasty, uncompassionate human being.
I was able to talk myself down and I wasin the feeling-fairly-normal arena until I checked my sugar. And now I'm mad at her all over again. I did a correction bolus using my bolus wizard, but I wouldn't be surprised if I start rage bolusing this afternoon. Maybe a little meditation and some laughter so she doesn't screw up my numbers all stinking day. Or maybe just remember the old adage: Stress is the confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately deserves it.
Michelle Kowalski, a writer, editor and photography hobbiest living in Phoenix, was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in February 2005. In January 2008, as part of her quest to start on an insulin pump, Michelle learned that she actually has type 1 diabetes. (Read More)
Nicole Purcell lists having type 1 diabetes last when she's asked to provide information about herself - because that's where it belongs. (Read More)