Excuses

I was busy. I thought it'd be here sooner. I just didn't take the time to think about it. The insurance company shouldn't be so slow. I have too many other things to handle. I'm still new to pumping so I haven't realized the increased needs. I couldn't really judge how much was left.
I nearly ran out of insulin today. A first in my life. It all started about two weeks ago. I went to send in a new prescription to my mail order pharmacy (a must for diabetics!). Somehow in the midst of my other home and my college home, I misplaced the prescription. I couldn't send in a lost prescription so I just didn't order any insulin. So last Friday I realized I had about 3/4 of a bottle left and ordered online from an old prescription (meaning I just wouldn't get as much insulin in the order, no biggy). They say it can take up to 17 days, but it never does. It usually takes five at the most. I trusted it would be here by the next Friday, no worries. Not another thought. I go on with my insulin using life.
Here it is Wednesday night and my pump alarms me. Low Reservoir. So I go to fill another, thinking the 1/4 of the bottle should be enough to last until Friday (when I could at least borrow some from my dad). Much to my dismay, I only get 10 units out of the remainder of the bottle. A multitude of unpleasantries shoot through my mind. I look at the time left: 8 hours and 49 minutes. That won't even last through the night till the pharmacy opens back up in the morning. I frantically try to pull insulin from every nook and cranny of the old reservoir and the empty bottle. Nothing.
Then comes the hectic phone calls and speed racing to the pharmacy (which was closing in 5 minutes). I try to fill my emergency prescription (another must for diabetics!). The insurance rejects it because I've only recently filled my mail order prescription. Of course, I'm trying to hoard insulin. I want to fill every prescription all at the same time so I can take over the world in an evil master plan of insulin overload!!!! Muhahahah!
The pharmacist (kudos to the man! It's so refreshing to have nice people in the medical field!) calls my insurance company and gets them to fill the prescription. I couldn't thank the man enough!!! And at 9:10, I walk out of the pharmacy with my lifeline in hand.
Now I write this with a mix of joy, shame, utter embarrassment but mostly a feeling that I really should learn from this lesson. I feel so irresponsible. I am an adult, why can't I keep up with my insulin needs? Maybe because sometimes I'm still in denial that I really do NEED those little bottles. Maybe because it's a terrible hassle to keep up with it and really think about how long it will be till I run out. Maybe because I have a school life, a work life and a social life to keep up with (all is more fun than keeping up with diabetes). Whatever the reason, I really can't do this again. It's unacceptable as my mother would say (so don't tell her this story, please!)

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