Dating in the d-World
My thoughts on finding love when you're true to yourself
April 2014 — This afternoon I received a group Facebook message from a few of my girlfriends all of whom are part of the d-world. It seems one of them decided it might be time to set up an online dating site profile. She figured all of us d-women would be excellent sources of whimsical thoughts on what to put in her bio. We figured wine would be in order.
The initial thoughts thrown out where things like "No selfies!" or "Put in your bio that men shouldn't respond if their bio has them 5 inches taller, 25 pounds thinner and 5 years younger than they are!" You can already see what path this was rolling down…
I started thinking about how many friends I have made in the world of diabetes who have now become people who date – or even get married – after meeting on a JDRF bike ride, or at a gala, or through their kids with diabetes. And many times I have had friends say "you are meant to find someone who is part of the diabetes world – it is your destiny." (This was not said in a Darth Vader-like voice, mind you.)
Now I've dated a few people in the diabetes world and I will say it is an interesting idea. Date a guy who has type 1 when you have a son with type 1 and you get a view of what your son's life will be like when he gets older, what his girlfriend will think about pumps, and low blood sugars, and being responsible about it when drinking. I think of my two friends – both with type 1 – who met at a Ride to Cure Diabetes and are now engaged to be married even though they started out living nowhere near each other. The common thread being their diabetes and their passion for the d-community.
So what would the diabetes online dating site look like? How do you put this out there? I imagine it as such:
I have kid(s) with diabetes
I don't have kids with diabetes, but it's ok if you do
I have diabetes
I don't have diabetes but my partner can
I have a child with diabetes
What are your hobbies?
Walk to Cure Diabetes
Ride to Cure Diabetes
Tour de Cure
Riding on Insulin
Volunteer at Diabetes Camps
On the board of directors for important diabetes foundations
And then I think about the "about me" section of the d-online dating site. "I'm looking for a partner who doesn't mind helping out by getting up in the middle of the night to check the kid's blood sugars, who understands carb counting and knows how to cook gluten-free meals."
It's true of everyone isn't it? That we are all out there looking for someone to share our "shared" selves. So maybe it isn't out of the question to think about finding love in this crazy world filled with insulin, CGMs and fundraisers. But I'm only meeting you for drinks on the first date, and just so you know, my d-world friends will have stalked your Facebook account long before that drink.
dLife's Viewpoints columnists are not all medical experts, but everyday people living with diabetes and sharing their personal experiences, most often at a set point in time. While their method of diabetes management may work for them, everyone is different. Please consult with your diabetes care team before acting on anything you read here to find out what will work best for you.
I have a friend, M, who has diabetes and never, ever tests her bloodsugar before she gets behind the wheel. This has always worried me about her. On Wednesday, she had a bad accident after passing out behind the wheel. She hit another car head on. I thank the universe that no one was killed, but she and the driver of the other vehicle were both badly injured. She's got a long healing road ahead of her, as does the woman she hit. I was talking about the...